Flowers and Fedoras
by doofenshmirtzevilincemployee
Summary: What would happen... if Perry the Platypus, star agent and loving pet... died? This is Perry's funeral. And there may be an unexpected guest that shows up... and by unexpected, I mean completely expected...
1. Chapter 1

**HEY, WORLD! I'm finally BACK! ALL IS NOT LOST! ****I am so happy to be finally back here, in the world of fanfiction... I missed you all! Don't worry, though - I'll try to update How Love Feels real soon. Also, I am going to try to finish writing my adoptive story, Lessons in Living, by nostrils-on-the-bus (I think that's how you spell her pen name...). And I have a bunch of other stories I want to post...**

**But! All that aside... to celebrate my return, I will start you all off with an overly depressing story! Aren't I awesome? :D**

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><p><strong>Flowers and Fedoras<strong>

The whole of Danville showed up.

Every last person in the tri-state area was present to pay their respects to an animal that, in many eyes, didn't do much.

Only a select few of the group truly understood exactly what this certain semi-aquatic mammal did for a heroic cause.

Not a dry eye was visible in the massive crowd. Linda and Lawrence held each other close and clutched handkerchiefs to their eyes.

Isabella hugged Phineas tightly as he sobbed unrestrainedly into her shoulder. Isabella's own tears fell down her delicate face and onto the ground, and she occasionally made a small choking sound or hiccupped softly.

She tried not to do this too often, and tried hard – she wanted to be strong. For Phineas. Isabella succeeded with this to some degree, although her self-control began to evaporate as the time passed.

Ferb stood next to Vanessa, head bowed, and hands to his side as tears rolled of his nose. Vanessa, whose cheeks had also been touched by salty droplets, made a small movement as to grasp Ferb's hand, but seemed to think better of it halfway through the motion.

Even Candace, who had constantly called Perry a "meatbrick" and had shrieked in disgust every time he came into contact with her, had tears cascading down her cheeks. She hugged her fiancé, Jeremy, all the more tighter.

Agents A through Z were present; all grieving alongside their owners for the loss of the star agent, the role model they all looked up to. Pinky shivered even more violently than usual as sobs racked his small form.

Signs of aging were prominent on all agents. Grey fur streaked most, and for agents such as Agent S and Agent W, their skins were slowly becoming dull and colorless. Pinky was becoming whiter by the day.

Carl and Major Monogram made an appearance, both going through multiple boxes of Kleenex, although Major Monogram constantly reminded Carl that he was merely "sweating through his eyes".

When the service men opened the lid to the coffin to allow the family to glimpse their beloved pet one last time, Phineas broke down in fresh sobbing and hugged Isabella tightly.

As grief-stricken as Isabella was, she seemed surprised yet delighted at Phineas' embrace. Isabella smiled comfortingly down at Phineas and led him away, a silently crying Ferb trailing blindly behind them.

As the men began to close the lid of the coffin, Major Monogram stood up. "Wait."

He rushed up to the side, and reached inside his jacket to pull out a small fedora. Major Monogram gently placed it by the monotreme's side.

"Good job, Agent P," he muttered sadly, stepping away.

The men, who also seemed blinded by tears, slowly moved forward and closed the lid of the doll-sized coffin, forever shielding the beloved platypus from the eyes of Danville.

It began to drizzle as the guests departed, and the Flynn-Fletchers were among the last to leave.

Now only one man remained. He slowly removed his black jacket to expose a white lab coat, prominent against the gray, gray world.

The man had a slight hunch, an elongated nose, and a crop of light brown hair, styled somewhat similar to Phineas'.

The man slowly walked up to Perry's grave and stared down at it numbly. Water dripped from the end of his nose, whether from his tears or the rain he did not know, or care.

Like the platypus that lay peacefully beneath him, the man was obviously getting up in age. Bits of gray streaked his hair, and wrinkles now accompanied the dark circles under his eyes.

He knew this day was coming – only, he thought he would be the one to go first, for, he _was_ the older of the two.

But unfortunately, platypi have relatively short life spans, something of which he had only been aware of after it was too late.

The man bent down and placed a small, blue-tinted flower on top of the loose dirt. He glanced at the gravestone. It read:

_Perry the Platypus_

_Died August 13_

"_For an animal that_

_Doesn't do much,_

_You know how to_

_Seize the day."_

There was no birth date; as Perry had been adopted from a shelter, the Flynn-Fletchers were unsure of Perry's birthday.

The man didn't quite understand the "he doesn't do much" part. Perry was a suave, semi-aquatic mammal of unstoppable dynamic fury, but then again, he could be wrong.

Heinz Doofenshmirtz got up and turned to leave, but momentarily glanced back and softly murmured something in the grave's direction.

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus."

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><p><strong>So there you have it... Perry's funeral. I hope you all liked my story. Please read and review! And I love you all in a friendly and non-intimate way.<strong>

**Oh! Just so you all know, the reason for my absence is because my esteemed parental units were not entirely sure of the safety of the site and such, and I was *sniff* going on here when I wasn't supposed to... hence, I was banned from the world of fanfiction.**

**But I'm back, and that's all that matters. So read. And review. Please!**

**May the odds be ever in your favor...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh, my, gosh. I'm so sorry, world! I forgot to add a disclaimer to my first chapter! So, here it is.**

**DISCLAIMER: In no way, ever, in the UNIVERSE or some ALTERNATE DIMENSION do I own Phineas and Ferb and all other characters. These characters belong to Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. I would like everyone on this side of Neptune to know that – if you happen to be beyond Neptune, well, then, just deal with not knowing. :D**

**I'll be updating soon. But for now, doofenshmirtzevilincemployee is out. PEACE!**


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